Arcane Initiates Club

Before You Apply, Know This

“Will I lose my soul?”
No. Your soul is yours. We just borrow it on weekends.

“Do I have to hurt anyone?”
No. Violence is crude. We prefer persuasion.

“Can I leave once I join?”
You can leave, but you cannot un-know what you learn. We prefer members for life. Death counts as leaving.

“What if my family objects?”
They will understand when you buy them a house.

“Is this a cult?”
No. Cults worship leaders. We worship results.

“Will I get rich immediately?”
Wealth is a byproduct, not a guarantee. Focus on enlightenment. The money follows.

“Do celebrities really join?”
Some do. Some don’t. We don’t kiss and tell. But yes.

“What if I’m not special enough?”
If you’re reading this page, you’re already more special than 99% of the population. The remaining 1% is your competition.

Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form.
Date of Birth
Current Address
Email Address:
Preferred Method of Contact:
Annual Income:
Have you ever spoken publicly about the Illuminati?
Do you currently discuss conspiracy theories on social media?
Can you keep a secret?
Are you willing to make a financial contribution to the Order?
If yes, what amount are you prepared to offer as an initial demonstration of commitment?
Do you have any tattoos of occult or esoteric symbols?
Are you afraid of the dark?
By submitting this application, I acknowledge that:
Click or drag files to this area to upload. You can upload up to 3 files.

Read This Before You Click Submit above

We do not offer:

  • Instant gratification

  • Overnight success

  • A get-rich-quick scheme

  • A social club

  • Bragging rights (if you brag, you’re out)

We offer:

  • A lifetime of purpose

  • Access to the world’s most powerful network

  • Knowledge hidden for centuries

  • A legacy that outlasts you

  • The satisfaction of helping guide humanity’s future

If this sounds like what you’ve been searching for…

There is only one thing left to do. Click the “I AM READY TO ASCEND” button above.

The Waiting Game

Once you submit, several things happen immediately:

  1. Your application enters our encrypted database

  2. Your digital footprint is analyzed

  3. Your name is whispered in the weekly council meeting

  4. You are assigned a case officer (codename only)

  5. You will begin to notice… changes

Signs That You Are Being Considered:

  • You see the number 33 more frequently

  • Strangers smile at you knowingly

  • You dream in gold and black

  • Your intuition sharpens

  • Things start going unusually well for you

Signs That You Have Been Rejected:

  • Nothing happens. Ever. You will never hear from us.

  • Your emails bounce back

  • You develop a sudden, unexplained interest in knitting

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